Personal Safety and Online Resources
Check The Source
Email safety tips often scary, often wrong
Personal safety decisions are important, so take the time to base
them in accurate information. We recommend that you do not use
information from unknown sources to protect the well-being and safety
of yourself and your children. Find information from respected experts
in the field, think it over, and combine it with your own wisdom and
intuition.
One particularly misleading piece seems to have traveled quite
widely around the Net. Well-meaning friends have shared it because,
without other information, it seems useful. You may have received the
message – what's been dubbed "The Pony-Tail Email". Do you
recognize the beginning?
"Hi, girls! I just finished taking the most amazing
self-defense class, sponsored by Shandwick, and I wanted to share some
really valuable info with you before it goes out of my head. The guy
who taught the class has a female friend who was attacked last year in
the parking garage at Westport Plaza in St. Louis. He started a
women's group and began teaching these classes soon after. This guy is
a black belt in karate and trains twice a year with Steven Seagal. He
and the others in this group interviewed a bunch of rapists and date
rapists in prison on what they look for and here's some interesting
facts:" etc. etc.
Emails like this make the rounds from time to time. The information
in them is often so bad, so off-base, that a conspiracy nut would be
forgiven for thinking that some rapist is producing them to confuse
women. The very best that can be said about them is that they are
produced by a well-meaning but horribly misinformed person. They
do not promote effective personal safety skills.
Let's look at a few of the points from this message, in case you
haven't seen it yourself...
· The #1 thing men look for in a potential victim
is hairstyle. UNTRUE
· They will look for women whose clothing is easy
to remove quickly. UNTRUE
· The #1 outfit they look for is overalls because
many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing and on overalls the
straps can be easily cut. UNTRUE
· The time of day men are most likely to attack
and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.
UNTRUE
· The number one place women are abducted
from/attacked at is grocery store parking lots. UNTRUE
· If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they
get discouraged. DETERMINED RESISTANCE can be highly effective.
To say "any kind of a fight at all" is taking it a bit too
far and gives the wrong idea. If we have the old 40's movie
"flapping the dainty fists on his manly chest" sort of
thing, it's unlikely to discourage anyone. But attackers want privacy
and control – if someone sees the fire in your eyes and energy in
your voice and body language telling him that one step closer will
have bystanders calling the police and possibly put him in hospital -
yes – he will probably be discouraged! In most cases he will, in
fact, break off his intended attack.
And so on. Most of the rest of the email is similarly poor quality
and dangerous nonsense with a couple of semi-valid points mixed in.
You might consider cautioning your acquaintances about this and
similar messages.
Certainly, if you've received "The Pony-Tail Email”, please
promote awareness about this aspect of personal safety information and
pass on corrective information. I've composed a possible message
below. If you agree with this opinion, please feel free to copy and
use this message.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi (your friend's name),
Recently you sent me some information about personal safety. It
included some tips such as: "Rapists are most likely to attack
women who wear ponytails or buns. " This has been dubbed
"The Ponytail Email".
What follows is a response to these so-called "safety
tips" by some very respected experts in the field. They feel very
strongly that the information in the ponytail email is misleading and
dangerous.
In the interest of helping people get accurate information about
personal safety, I hope you will pass on these facts and
clarifications to whoever sent the email to you AND to everyone you
passed it to.
Duplicate this whole message, including this paragraph. If this
email makes to every woman who read “The Ponytail Email" they
will be a whole lot safer.
(Please notice -- the people making these comments are public
figures who can be checked on Web. Their offices can be phoned.)
"The #1 thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid
or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed."
Best-selling author and nationally respected violence prediction
expert Gavin de Becker comments: " In fact, this isn't even close
to "the #1 thing," and "they" (as if all rapists
are the same) do NOT choose their victims on the basis of some hair-grabability
quotient... "
De Becker continues, " Ludicrous and misleading. The reader is
left to conclude that if you avoid overalls and keep your hair short,
you'll be OK."
Christine Schlattner, author of "Real World Safety for
Women" says "The information in this email is largely
invalid and dangerous. It contains many lies. The points that are
valid become dangerous because there is no information on HOW TO carry
them out powerfully and effectively. If a woman relied on this
information to keep herself safe, she could be putting herself in
great danger."
Please pass this email on to anyone who asks you about the Ponytail
Email message.
Personal safety is important, and people need accurate information.
Various "safety tips" emails have been making their way
around the web in recent months. If someone is hungry for safety
information, they may take it in… Thanks, [Your Name]
©
Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.
A publication of KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International
www.kidpower.org
831-426-4407
Permission to reproduce granted with copyright notice and contact
information
at beginning and end of each article used.
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