Personal Safety for Children and Teens
Preventing Bullying, Harassment, Peer Violence
with Clearly Stated Rules
Personal safety for children and teens in group environments can be
protected with clearly stated rules that can prevent many problems
from developing in the first place.
The new Teen Center of the San Lorenzo Valley, a rural community
near Santa Cruz, is a crowded happy place, complete with video games,
pinball machines, and a pool table. Local teens have fun in their
center and help take responsibility for making things work because the
place was built and the programs were organized based on their input.
When the teen advisors were asked what kind of rules they wanted,
they first came up with a list of 20, which were condensed down to the
six most important ones. These rules are hand-painted on the brown
wall in cream ink, with a frame like an old fashioned WANTED DEAD OR
ALIVE poster, as follows:
The Way It Is
1. Take care of the Teen Center.
2. Keep your hands and feet to yourself.
3. Be respectful of people’s differences.
4. Don’t touch others’ stuff without permission.
5. Use polite language and manners.
6. Listen to directions and respect staff.
Just as we have explicit rules of driving for safety on the road,
we need to have explicit rules of behavior for other settings in order
to protect personal safety for children and teens. When appropriate
rules are agreed upon, clearly stated, and enforced, everyone
benefits. Rights are protected. Time is spent effectively. Property is
taken care of and shared fairly. People have the freedom to do what
they came to this place to do in a safe and comfortable way.
Too often, in the name of freedom, adults abdicate their authority
with children and teenagers, allowing them to behave in ways that can
interfere with the rights of others or are potentially destructive.
Often, this abdication is in reaction to adults having lived with
rules themselves as children that were arbitrary or unfair. The
purpose of rules is to create a structure that is supportive of
freedom--freedom to learn, freedom to play, freedom to grow, freedom
to relax. This means that rules should be examined and reevaluated
constantly in order to make sure that they are appropriate to the
setting and the agreed-upon purpose of people gathered within that
setting.
In order to ensure the freedom for everyone to be emotionally and
physically safe, rules that prevent all forms of violence and abuse
are especially important. Destructive behaviors include all forms of
bullying and harassment such as name-calling, shunning, ridiculing,
threatening words, mimicking, physically hurting, intimidating
gestures or expressions, and unwanted or inappropriate sexual language
or actions. These behaviors all affect the level of personal safety
for children and teens, and they need to be clearly designated as
unacceptable, with consequences spelled out.
In every setting where you or your children spend time, take
responsibility for knowing, upholding, and evaluating the rules. Find
out what these policies are in your school, business, or organization.
Review these rules to see whether they make sense. Ask for
clarification or revision. Define the ground rules with your family,
updating them as your children get older and situations change.
Make sure that rules--like the painted sign on the San Lorenzo
Valley Teen Center wall, are clearly posted for everyone to see.
Personal safety for children and teens – and also for adults –
depends on all of us taking responsibility for the environments in
which we or our children participate. This is part of building
safety and confidence for everyone, and that’s just....THE WAY
IT IS!
©
Copyright 2004. All rights reserved.
A publication of KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International
www.kidpower.org
831-426-4407
Permission to reproduce granted with copyright notice and contact
information
at beginning and end of each article used.
|
